Whether you are the one who initiated the breakup or it was your partner (‘the Ex’) it doesn’t lessen the fact that breakups hurt. So from eating ice-cream to bad rebound relationships, how do you really come out of the post breakup mess alive? Below are five real life (meaning I had the “pleasure” of testing these out) advises for you and your heart.
1) Vent it out.
Yes, it is not the most mature thing out there however, it is important to vent out all your unspoken words to a trusted friend or a tub of ice-cream or even a bottle of strong alcohol. This will be the first step to healing and moving forward. Just don’t get stuck in this phase for too long give yourself a good two weekends to do this…it does wonders.
2) Cry it out and don’t call the Ex
After the venting stage you possibly still emotional, please don’t call the Ex. Cry it out if you need to but no matter what DO NOT CALL THE EX, for now at least.
3) Get busy
So you either in high school, college or working. Get involved with your studies or do whatever that you find productive. Set some goals that you have been burying in the back of your mind and actually do them. Relationships can take a lot of our time so reinvesting this time your own growth can be rewarding down the line.
4) Spoil yourself
This can be as simple as buying yourself a piece of jewellery that you have been eyeing for some time now, or going on a mini vacation. Treat yourself, redirect all the love you wanted from life and shower yourself with it. Enjoy the freedom of enjoying your own company and showing yourself self-love.
5) Reflect
This last piece of advice is critical in my view. Reflect on the past few months or weeks, reflect on your past relationship and ask yourself “what has this experience taught me”. Okay sounds cheesy but to be honest in order to move on you need to understand that life experiences have the opportunity to mould you into a better person. The relationship’s “failure” isn’t one sided you not perfect and the Ex isn’t also. Reflection helps you be more aware of what you want from your next relationship. Your boundaries are a bit clearer, those memories of arguments are special in understanding yourself from a different light.
Here is little example:
I am not vocal about my emotions and when I finally reach a boiling point I explode. I had tantrums that never resulted in the problem actually being solved, instead I would apologize for the tantrum instead of focusing on the conversation that was the initial reason for my outburst. So a similar thing would happen later on and the cycle would yield a devastating outcome. So I needed to learn how to be able to communicate my displeasure in a more mature and clear way.
That is just a short preview on the reflection dialogue that is important to not just move on from your past relationship but also grow yourself through uncovering bad habits and reasons behind them.
The above list is just a few words of advice from me to get you through this hard time.
All the best